December

Alright people two things I like about this month is the girl and the gifts. I've been thinking and planning of asking you sooner or later what you wanted for Christmas, but I'm probably gonna buy gift card's.
Also I'm not looking for anything in return, so lets just say this is a mere "thank you for the great year so far, and hope to find more in the upcoming years" kind of gift. You probably think I'm an idiot or some fag for doing all this stuff for you, thinking I'm just winning you over with gifts like some people, but to be honest with you thats not the reason why I've won you through respect, and kindness what more can I offer? my house? haha!! no I live here but your always welcome.
The reason why I'm doing this, is cause I feel generous towards you not cause your an asshole or a greedy child its just cause I've known you for about a year and our relation between each other began to bloom wildly in a matter of time.
I sound gay saying all this stuff on this blog, but thats whats it for to fully express myself, but really I'm not fully expressing myself at the moment because:
- school
- workout(muscles repairing)
- reading(been letting my imaginations run loose)
- setting up the christmas tree(there was a dead rat beside the x'mas box)
- eating my salad(so many leaves, and caesar sauce)
- and its late
If I wanted to fully express myself, my post would be called "life" containing everything I've been through(not exactly everything like where i was in this month n crap, just like you knw what i learn n shit and my feelings of stuff n other crap), and the only time you'll see that post is when we've all grown up and forgetting about blogspot and just yea doing what we all want to do.

Vent

Alright you fucking crippled immature son of a bitch, is that how you wanna play. Alright! Who the fuck do you think you are telling us what to do, why don't you tell your fucking drunk ass, wrinkly boobless wife to go fucking find a place to stay rather then sleeping on the street...o no wait i forgot your poor, you know why? Cause your a fucking alcoholic, you don't know shit and you don't base us Asians by fucking skin, and intellectuality. Your a dumbass bitch walking on the streets begging for money, which you'll never get cause you know why? YOUR POOR!! if you didn't catch that I'll say again YOUR POOR BITCH!! You wanna discriminate us, well why don't you go find a job that proves that Asians are bad people, then come back and tell us the reason why were bad o no but wait there aren't any jobs out there telling us why Asians are bad, and plus no one would fucking employ you and you know why, cause your a fag piece of shit. Just cause we live in this country doesn't mean were bad, you fucking stupid or something? this is a free country were all treated equal, why dont you go to school and re-educate yourself o no but wait your fucking poor, can't afford shit, not even a can drink at GH chicken thats 50cents only. Bitch please. How many times do you have to repeat it, we heard you the first time were not death and stupid like you motherfucker. Tell me do you even know how to do fractions, or at least addition which all kindergarten kids can do like...fuck your hella sad if I ever see that fucking ugly, face of yours again, your done. Dont care if your crippled, blind, death, female, or male your DONE. Your the past so there's no point of you living anymore theres no future for you the only future you'll see is my fist, i don't care if i become a murderer for killing a fag like you all i care is that your dead, your gone in this world, and you wont make anymore problems around other people ever again. If you think we haven't learn anything at school think again, we learned much more than you when you were kid that is if you even went to school. Were not stupid minded like you ...yea we drink but not excessively like you, we know when to stop and when others get too drunk we help them out. To bad for you when you got drunk no one even cared about your well being cause you know why your life wasn't worth it the place, you were a mistake from birth and mistake from God. If you think we haven't learned much at school then guess what your gonna learn by tomorrow, MY FIST GOING STRAIGHT TO YOUR FACE, I"M GONNA BREAK ALL THOSE SINGLE YELLOW COLORED TEETH OF YOURS THEN PUMMEL YOUR FACE STRAIGHT TO THE GROUND AND SCRAP THAT UGLY FACE OF YOURS TILL ALL I SEE IS BLOOD COVERING YOUR FACE. AND IF YOU GOT A KNIFE, DON'T EVEN BOTHER PULL IT OUT CAUSE I'M JUST GONNA TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU IN LIKE TWO SECONDS.
*Side note Asians were the one that created the fighting technique called tae kwondo not your fucking race
THEN IMMA ENJOY BEATING THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. SO PEACE TO YOUR FACE, AND YOUR SHITTY LIFE. BITCH DONT MESS WITH ME

Joey

Joey - a rare soul refined of knowledge, will, talent, and friendship

Driven by determination, friends, power's of knowledge, and the might of God that is my friend Joey Carlos Laguio. Born November 25, 1993 a young mind was born and brought into a leveled world. He is knowledgeable through work, and intense gaming and doesn't know the meaning of impossible unless proven by others. Throughout his years of struggles, frustrations, and hard labor Joey has been supported by friends, families, and teachers to help him along his way and continues to thrive to accomplish what he was sent here to do. It's the year 2008, of the 25th of November, signs of blessings have been bestowed upon my friend Joey, to give him courage, strength, and more blissful moments to come. I'd like to say that all these years that I've known you I want to thank you for being a great friend, and being there to occupy my time from being bored as the last few years we have together come to a halt I hope that I'll get the chance to see all of you again I wish you the best of luck, and hope you never change.(well i can't really ask that since we do change physically, mentally, uh well u knw what i mean)

Assistance

People think of themselves so low, and act so negative around things when they don't understand. Just cause you don't get this or you can't achieve something you've set doesn't mean your a failure. I have a friend who is like that and told me she was about to cry when she didn't understand things I told her I'd help her and she was glad that she had my help. I spent my time helping her breaking things into little pieces so she could understand and remember each of these formulas within her mind. I wasn't frustrated when she didn't get some of the answers but was understandable because probably she was given to much than her mind could handle. As things progressed she began to understand little by little it was a sign of success that my method of teaching were penetrating into her mind. All those negative thing's she had said about herself began to wear off and by the time she took her test...she was ready.

The message I'm trying to send out to all of you is that as a stranger, friend, and brother let me help you or come to me when you need assistance. I may not be what you expect me to be but if I understand the subject I'll be sure to tell you that I can help you. I offer you my help so accept it and be pleased you'll end up understanding it.

Feeling

On a bright and breezy day
as I reached for the sky
strong winds embraced me like the time of you and I
I wish I could fly just as a butterfly
without being ashamed or being tamed





its incomplete atm, I'm not doing this cause I'm emotionally it was suppose to be done for writing 12 so yea..my new post guys and uh this ain't about me I based all of this on the things i saw and touched and i saw a retarded lookin butterfly drawing so yea thats where i got my butterfly alright

Chill

Well so far my 2nd week of November actually turned out pretty good ever since my last reflection about *cough(you know already i just don't wanna say it cause i sound gay if i wrote it down) yea so uh...thanks Robin, made me think and realize about a lot of things. So yea back to what I was saying...about tomorrow uh I'm going to be out with someone, were just going to workout(but really were just going to fool around) and hope that she'll be available tomorrow. After of whatever were going to be doing, I'm probably might get a call from you guys asking me what I might be doing tomorrow and well guys my answer to you is "screw you, don't call me" but seriously I'll never say that to you in front or behind your back, but my real answer is that I'm probably gonna go to my aunts/uncles house and visit them, because you know people around me are special and I'd like to cherish these moments with them cause you never know it could be the last time you'd ever see them.
So after I've had my chat with them I might stay a bit longer and practice my song that someone wants to hear me play one day (hope I can remember the whole note). After that I'm going to my half brothers house and just talk with him for a bit got to bond with him, missed 15years. So yea, don't know if you guys call that a chill day(going to be quite a hassle) but to me, these are going to be moments I've spent with my.....don't know how to say this so we'll just call it special people(not saying your not special, its just I haven't spent some quality time with them thats just how it is..so yea little more bonding brother and brother, and uh uncle/aunt with family son?)

Respectful(note)

I'd like to thank you guys for leaving in a mannerly way on Saturday, and when I mean mannerly I mean it as a respecful way. I apologize for having to leave you guys but it was quite important. I don't want to get into that much detail, cause I'm a bit mixed with some of my emotions and well...all I want to say is that out of the friends I've befriend you guys are the most civilized, unique, and accepting friends I have ever met. When worst comes to worst call me up I'll do whatever I can to return my gratitude to you.

Sincerely,
me

Reflection

Friends…are what drive us to acknowledge what is right from wrong, love from hate, and correctly or incorrectly live our lives in this reality. Whenever I look back I always asked myself, am I friend that leads them to the right side or the wrong side. For the past few weeks I haven’t been a friend at all. I’ve suffocated them with my misery, told secrets where they should of remain unknown and in the end became so angered and frustrated but for what? Why do I treat others so low when they’ve treated me so high. What happened to me? Are the friends I’m making not the friends who I thought they were? Are they fake? But who am I to judge, when I’m a hypocrite myself. This is not me, I need to address my friends with open arms, an attitude who’ll they will remember, and a personality they could embrace. Now that it’s November, and seasons are beginning to pass I want to show that I can be a friend. No more will I ignore you, discourage you, and amuse myself in your failures, but will rise with you to see you smile. By the time we’ve graduate high school and start to head our separate ways, I want you to know that I’ll regret ever saying goodbye to you, cause moments like these only come once a lifetime.

Internal

It's hurtful enough to see her with another man, but haven't I suffered enough. My body aches just listening to her voice wandering across the room, I can't ignore her neither can I talk to her, but what the fuck is holding me back. No ones stopping me but I can't allow myself to get hurt again. I don't understand why I purposely continue on like this I'm lying, betraying my body, and having my inner self ripped apart because of her. But what can I do? why is it so hard? why am I so attached to her? why is it that whenever I think for myself her face would always creep into my mind intruding my privacy and my personal thoughts. She's annoying, senseless, insecure, and God just AHHH!! so why do I still like her(talk about the dumbest attributes for a girl) for God sakes not even porn can take my mind off her. Its irritating enough just talking and thinking about her, I can't allow this conflict to suffocate me and my friends anymore. It's gone far enough its time for me to take a stand she has to lose this has to stop. Where the fuck is my resolve.

Costume

Solving a Word Equation:

ax^2+bx+c=

Chill(Friends^House+FireworksScary movies)+night= ?

=HALLOWEEN

Black Cheesecutter Hat+Mask+Black Vest+White Sleeve+Black Gloves+Grey Tie+Grey pants+Converse Sneakers=Jabbawockeez!!

(so bored, litterally this post is gay)

Satisfied

Before detention I passed by the honor roll board(oh...your so disgraceful for not trying dumbass, now momma gonna kill you), I checked the grade 10 year(o look! Nikko and Joey) and skimmed through the whole thing and saw that my name was on the second honor roll.(Baby please. Yes. Uh...what a ugly face) I was satisfied to see that my name was there, and that my day didn't turn that bad, but whatever its better then being depressed.

Depress

Its been quite awhile now...haven't written anything depressing or emotionally for the past few months(so glad). Neither of those gay haiku poems...but I cant help to say how I still miss her(sigh*). Its practically stupid how I ramble on saying I still miss her, shes so attractive, and all those other complements usually guys would say and seriously I need a slap to the face sometime soon(someone wake me up!!), because I just can't go on like this. We rarely talk or even at least say hi to each other(probably hates me), and the only time we say anything to each other is something relating to homework(how gay). Its either she hates me, has feelings for me and doesn't want to get close, or the "your nothing to me anymore" expression. To me, the first and last opinion might be the answer, cause I doubt she till has feelings for me(why do i even bother to hope).

I feel like shit(no but really, i just farted and it smells could probably wipe out the whole united states population, and its wet...ewww)...if only I was thinking straight forward, I would have probably made a difference back then, but now its all about regret, looking back at your stupid mistakes, and crying over a pained heart(how gay can i be, like seriously are you gay?). Life can be so depressing and thats just being cruel man(I should become emo, my face is dark already now all I need are black clothes. Sike!! not gonna be emo..so gay no one does that anymore)

FINALLY FREE, TO STRIKE AT
DAWN TO BEGIN A NEW AGE
OF FREEDOM AND JOY.

What I feel... deep down inside my space of joyful memories, that lies beneath the depths of my heart is how I truly feel about you and are unraveled by your touching moments. You saved me during my hours of agony and raised me like a brother to follow the right path in life. You have taught me to learn from my problems and continue on with a sense of pride of what I have accomplished and what I can achieve if i fight for it. You have shown me that areas where I have failed I must continue on to thrive to be the best of what I can be, you have given me that opportunity to finally form my resolve and continue on with my path to happiness.

I've been selfish, and foolish forcing myself to do anything in my power for you to stay, but I have realized that these are your choices not mine, only you amongst all can achieve what you always wanted and be granted what you so long yearn for in life. Now that you walk a different path, away from mine and away from others I want you to know that I'll always watch your back even if your far away. I don't care if your in California or living on the other side of the globe, I swear to you and to myself, and to God, and to everyone else around me, even till my death as a friend I will do everything, with the abilities i already possess and use them for your need. All those times where you suffered, back stabbed, even shunned, I for a fact clearly know you deserve more then this, you sacrificed so much and went so far then any other man I ever met during my lifetime and hope that one day you'll finally find the place where you will be treated with more respect, love, and happiness.

All that you have done for us, the actions you have taken, and the words of comfort you have spoken will never be forgotten. What you have given we will keep, what you have shown we will remember, and what you have sacrificed we will suffer. I want to thank you, and wish for the best of your upcoming days in life. You have been a good friend, a great model, and a excellent mentor now that your gone remember this, the path you walk I will walk behind, you are my friend, my brother and wish to be like you one day.

Dear Maria,

Thank you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me in a long time, and I'm grateful and glad to have met you. Deep inside I was alone, never could really express myself then you came along and renewed everything around me, not feeling the sense of loneliness. Now that its over I just hope you find someone whose going to treat you better then I ever could. Life's really something, kinda dislike going through all this stuff, but whatever there's nothing we could really do about it. I appreciate all you've done and hope that we can be good friends, and that moments like these rarely come to me. So what I've been through, what I've experienced, I'll keep as a souvenir here in my heart, what you have given to me I will never forget, and never let it disappear. 

If you ever feel lonely I'm always open, not saying you should come back to me, but as a friend I'm here for you, and will be by your side in hard times. As a friend I'll be here to support you that is if you need anything from me(probably not), and wish for the best to come along your way. These past few months was the most joyfulness time I could ever have enjoyed, and because of you I probably should continue being who I am and not going back into my own solitary confinement. I thank you, and appreciate all you've done and hope we could stay in touch after years to come. I would seriously hate to lose someone like you so please don't die anytime soon ok =) I'll see you around so...yeah. Later

Sincerely, 
Daniel 

One Step at a time, I
Learn to open my eyes,
Learn to walk,
Learn to know those who came before me,
Learn to fall in love,
Learn to smile,
And learned to watch you grow in beauty.
Who will come to admire, each step at a time.

There is one person who I dearly admire in this world, one that I’ve doubted and despised but came to know the true meanings of who that person was. I fell, but was raised up, left alone, but was rejoined, and came to know the feeling of love. Who is it that I speak of, one who is gentle, courageous, elegant, gifted, ready to lend a hand. I will tell you. One, who has seen the shadows of my heart, revealed it upon me and rid me of all my fears. It is not God whom I speak of. Nor is it my friend Nikko, but a woman who has been there for me since kindergarten. I know not her name, but hope one day I will come to know her…once again.

LIFE, an existence

opening heart and soul to

freely live and die.

Grade 11 

Period                    Course                Room

• A                     CH 11                     105
  
• C                     YREL 11                 401
  
• D                    WR 12                     106
  
• E                     SP 11                       401
  
• F                     MA 11                     404
  
• G                    FDS 11                     107
  
• H                    EN 11                       204
  

It sucks that I cant take art, I was hoping to work and finish my art portfolio for my entrance requirement to BCIT, but whatever I'll do that in grade 12. I heard that WR 12 (writing 12) is like somewhat an art class/free block. No test or homework just write stuff about what you feel or did today or whatever...seems kinda fun. The other blocks are gonna be hella hard, should of taken biology instead of CH 11=( 

Friends…are what drive us to acknowledge what is right from wrong, love from hate, and correctly or incorrectly live our lives in this reality. Why does it that people persist to think of others as enemies believing they’ve taken/changed their footsteps in life? They’ve pulled through for us most of time, whether secretly or openly. What we gain from them are many things, its never right to push them away when they offer us help, or threatened them when they haven’t done anything wrong that you assume they have. If they’ve done something, open your mouth and talk, don’t cower and resolve it in a mischievous way where you’ll just get back at them and things will turn out all right.

Believe me, before I met any of you I was the complete opposite of what I am today, I purposely hurt people, betrayed their trust, ruined my companionship with people who I never considered to be friends even though they were nice, and loyal to me. I just used them and threw them away like trash then was left alone in this world to rot from my actions. Only one person did everything to befriend me and make me to the person I am now today, I thank her but cant since that was long time ago before I arrived to Saint Andrews, to start a new life. What I’m saying is not to hurt them but befriend them, we don’t have to go crazy on them, just saying you wont regret it if you do. They're our substitute family from all other occurring conflicts, we turn to them for help. In this world we live in we were never meant to be alone, its better to have something then nothing.

What I did was out of good intention, I swear to God and to you that I wasn’t trying to hurt your feelings, so please understand I couldn’t bear to hear what people had to say about you. I probably know it’s not my position to respond to these actions but I can’t help to feel that you’re just going to take more bullshit along the way. That night I didn’t mean for you to cry, I wasn’t mad that you broke up with me I was just worried I guess. I was thinking in my head that if I don’t say this to you anytime soon it’s probably going to be to late for me to save you from all this, but what can I do I’m not superman you know.

As a friend I just want to make things less unpleasant for you, I just want you to have a long and healthy relationship with people you come across with, but what I did to you that night I must be one of the worst you ever came across. I know that I’ve hurt you twice now but please I wasn’t doing this out of revenge or anger. I guess this would be another reason why you should break up with me, but for me I wish to be friends with you nothing more, I miss talking to you, seeing your name on MSN, don’t care if you took me off your top friends list, the only thing I can do for you now is just be a friend and you’ll ALWAYS have my respect an care even if your the one that might possibly hurt me. I just don’t want to forget about you, there are times where I can forget and move on but most of the time you’re always going to pop up in my head.

Again, I will say this once more, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I wasn’t twisting your friends words, I wasn’t turning your friends against you, and I wasn’t starting shit or lies behind your back, all I did was endure its not your fault that it came to this, it was mine. I clearly knew from the beginning when we hooked up, our relationship was too soon, I didn’t give it much time for us to get to know each other more. The choice I made got you hurt and I sincerely apologize and for all those moments I spent with you where I ignored you, made you feel like nothing, I apologize again, but what we had I’d say was something special, I didn’t screw you over and I know that for a fact. I treated you with respect, kindness, and cared about you every time you left my side, I also would consider that I’ve treated you like a queen, even like a daughter, and a wife so please hear me out I didn’t mean for you to get hurt, I merely was trying to help and if you still believe that what I’m saying is all bullshit, and don’t believe I deserve to be your friend then I guess I wasn’t worth being with in the first place. All I ask now is a reply back from you personally please reconsider all that I have just said I meant every word.