*Ring Ring Ring
Slightly opening my eyes at the disturbing noise my eyelids forced them back down I wasn’t meant to wake up just yet, it was a Sunday morning and I needed to sleep. I grasped for the phone wherever it was keeping my body underneath the soft cover of my bed. A slight peep blinded me and repulsed me from the world. So I recoiled back and cuddled into my warm ball, but all that ended when a thud slammed beside my head and bounced to land hard on my face.
“Alright! I’m awake…geez.”
*Ring Ring Ring
“What the hell do you want? Can’t you ever shut up!”
I picked up the phone, feeling the vibrate vibe tingle around my weak arm. I answered the phone, but all I could hear was a blank call there was no one there not even a single sound it felt like I was completely death I even couldn’t hear anything else around me. Just as I was about to hang up the phone, a sound came through traveling down my ear.
“I come…bing bing bing.”
“I come?”
“Look here pal if this is some kind of joke; I’m seriously gonna…gonna you know what I hate you.”
I slammed the phone hard to the desk, thinking of it just made me feel like pummeling his face to the ground. If only I had caller id…
“Ha Peace I do have caller id!”
Celebrating at my stupid realization I quickly looked backed and scrolled down my list of called numbers by me or the person I was suppose to receive, but when I looked at my last call which was today, at 11:41am all it showed was a blank call.
“What the hell, ok he used that pound trick or whatever.”
“Wonder what time it is now?”
I quickly looked around for the clock, but seem that I couldn’t find one anywhere.
“Eh I’m probably going to be early, the guy called me around 11:41am so… I’m going to be late.”
Searching through piles of wrinkly clothes choosing carefully what to wear to mass I found a white shirt and pants to wear, and a red scarf near them both so I took them to the bathroom and quickly undressed myself and changed into them. Without any hesitation, or even breaking a sweat I busted out of the bathroom door, adrenaline fully flowing inside me jumped into my shoes and ran out my door locking it without even looking at the lock or key port. It was 12:02pm when I arrived at the big doors of my elementary parish, as I walked down a few aisles I paid less attention to the people around me and focused on the seat I would place my butt on. When I found my seat I placed myself in solitude and completely shunned everything around and paid attention to whatever the priest had to say. When I began listening to what he had said in the homily, it sounded so familiar. Not the words, but his voice that I heard quite a while ago when I received that call. I looked closely at his face trying to see if there was anything familiar about him, but nothing seem to give me a slight remembrance of where I’ve seen him or where he came from, he look new to me. I had a good visual but that’s only because I was sitting in the second row, near the front of the alter. When the mass ended all I could remember was nothing but the homily, it felt like a preparation of some sort, but hell why do I care he hasn’t come back after uh six-hundred years and it’s already 2011, people waited and hope for his return and were already suffering from a recession. Even though we have Barrack Obama, he’s fixing things little by little but we need more than what he’s just giving us. I walked to my car, and looked back at the church.
“We need a miracle.”
I headed back home and just wasted the day sleeping.
Resting on my soaking wet pillow, I desperately tried to wake up. My mind was still stuck in the dream but I could feel my body mimicking every single movement what my mind was. I lay there in my bed partly awake but could feel my body react to the horrid dreams. I woke up in fear and stood straight up.
“What was that? It felt so real.”
I looked at my hands as I rose from my bed, unsheathing them from the cover. My hands were shaking and felt so numb; I couldn’t feel any muscles working my fingers to move. The air was so tense and felt so stuffy, my eyes were widening with fear I felt a slight shiver run down my spine at the thought of the dream I just had. People fled the city looking for safety, buildings collapsing as they block the routes to our salvation, and children crying beside their no longer existing mothers. I tried and cleared my mind, but couldn’t help to look back it’s nothing like I’ve ever experience before it was so real. I looked over my shoulder to see what time it was and it was only 3:47am, I don’t wake up for another four hours and thirteen more minutes. I grasped the blanket as I tried and remove it over my body but I couldn’t feel my hands clutch unto the sheets as I slowly remove it over me.
“I’ll just get a cup of red tea, and then head back to bed.”
I placed my feet at the floor; it felt cold when I stood up and walked to the kitchen. Each step felt an eternity, looking down at the floor I raised my head and squinted only to see that reality was all about to change, everything wobbled around me and things began to extend ridiculously. I ran forward trying to clear the hall and making it to the kitchen it was so far. Suddenly my vision came back and I was about to collide into my stainless steel refrigerator I tried to stop but only ended up hearing a thud. Falling to the ground, as my body laid helpless all I could see was pitch black.
“Uh.” As I groan.
The light began to disappear I felt lost; my eyes still open to reality looking up at my gray ceiling. I thought about nothing and just laid there.
“What a morning.”
“Whatever I’m just going to sleep here.”
The next morning I called in absent again because yesterday I had a small incident so as my excuse I told them that my dad fell down the stairs and broke his leg. My boss didn’t ask any questions and just relieved me of my job. When I finished the call I didn’t quite plan ahead what I’d do for the next eleven hours before I went to bed and wake up the next morning to head to work. I could call the guys up, buts it’s a Monday, they’re all busy on the weekdays. Ed’s working as an accountant, in the bank of TD Canada Trust as the manager of the place. Most of the times when I call him up I always hear on his voice message, “Leave a message after the beep because I’m out traveling.” What a lucky guy he’s probably busy scoping out the beauties of the world and just partying. There’s also Manny, who I could call but I doubt he’ll answer considering that he’s an undercover detective. Recently in the Province newspaper, there was an article about him busting a drug dealer who captured young teenage girls to sell dope and become prostitutes of his little company making hundreds of millions of dollars. The DEA removed ten bodies from the crime scene, all men gunned down by Manny during the capture of the drug dealer. I really didn’t know who to call they were all so busy with their crazy money making jobs, didn’t want to intrude or anything but I guess I might as well just cruise around the city and look for some new clothes to wear at Selene’s birthday party. It was my chance to make-up my last encounter with her, apparently when we were dating I found out she was cheating on me so I pretty much humiliated her in front of all her friends and family members during this reunion party, I really wouldn’t mind if I had another chance to humiliate her again I’d be pretty fine with it. There were a lot of people that piss me off in the world I wouldn’t mind if they all left they don’t mean as much to me then myself since I can replace them with new friends. I thought about where I should go to shop for new clothes but was just left with Le Chateau, at Oaklogan city or “Lighted Way.” We call it “Lighted Way” because whenever you travelled in the dark you could see a bright dot just right ahead of you if you were ever lost.
The day was still young so I thought it was best to cruise with my 2009 Aprilia RSV4, I really wasn’t interested in cars that much, but only used them to ride during the winter seasons and rainy days. I geared up, grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I live in a big area near or surrounded by residential homes that live near the beach, but for me my house is at the beach. The house was worth 2.3 million, but I paid 63% of the income while my other buddies and family members paid the rest or pitched in to help. It’s a cozy home and we all have our own rooms to use as a private getaway. I live here alone so I got to do everything for myself except when they come over they’re on their own.
When I reached the garage I grabbed the sheet that covered my bike and place my key in the port to get it started. I reached inside my jacket to get the garage door key and aimed it forward to open the door. I waited a good full minute to get my head focused on the road placing my hand over the clutch and set it to first gear and slowly rode down my house. I closed the door and started riding down the hill feeling the breeze push against my upper body forcing me to slow down. I like to go fast, especially on bikes only when it’s just an open road and no one’s around. My head still focused on the road all I could think about was getting there and just do some sightseeing of the beautiful world. As I come closer to the city, I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was behind, but was too scared that something might jump right in front of me, so I cancelled the shoulder check and looked at my mirror a striking image suddenly made me step on the brake. My tires screeching loudly as it tries to stop I look back over my shoulder at the sky and saw that it was just light blue as ever. I could have sworn I saw a giant fireball heading straight down toward my direction. Thank God I looked but I lost track on where I was suppose to go I pretty much wasted my time and now I’m going to be ten minutes late by the time I get there it’s going to be all packed with people and cars.
It was 12:37pm when I reached downtown and everywhere I went were packed with people either buying or just chilling with friends. I kept cruising around the city looking for that French store I went the other day “Costume pour les hommes.” I love their fabric they used on their blazers I bought a couple and got a 8% discount from the lady at the counter, gold streaks running down to her shoulders, golden brown skin and her perfect curves, just gave me fantasies of her, but her face…I’m just not worthy to look at.
“I hope she’s still working there. I want to see her in that turquoise dress again.”
As I continue riding down Burrard and Robson, waiting for the light to vanish being ready to set everything into motion a sudden blur struck and threw me off my bike. Trying to regain back my sight, squinting and removing my helmet everything surrounding me stood motionless. I stood up and realized something familiar, a child and her mother and a man on his bicycle. It felt like whatever I dreamt were coming into reality I felt like panicking and getting away from here because I had a strong feeling it was going to happen right at this moment. I yelled at the man holding his bicycle to get away from that pole, and the mother to start running to safety. Everyone thought I was crazy and just paranoid but it was going to happen. I fell in a state of shock as I lifted my head unto the sky, and tried to grasp for air it was right there heading straight to earth.
“Everyone look up and run don’t stay here! Move!”
Voices of fear filled the air, and people began to run as I got back on my bike and rode away. Maneuvering through the people filled streets and a dozen of obstacles I raced against time looking for a way out of the city I saw a sign leading to Briarville from Oaklogan City. I accelerated focusing on the bridge the streets were clear and everything around looked motionless I was going to be saved but yet again a blur stepped into the picture and threw me off balance. I skidded off the streets and unto the corner of the bridge I leaped off my bike and flew into the air. Slowly falling into the deep, watching as I leave my bike behind I closed my eyes praying to God that I would be led safe down the river and that was when I plunged in.
“Hey are you okay?” was the first thing I heard. I lay still in the water barely seeing anything through my corrupted vision. My eyes hurt and I couldn’t tell if I was bleeding not a single motion from my body responded to the gentle strike of the waves. My body still faced up unto the sky a shadow appeared still blinded by the light I couldn’t identify if it was human or not, but why would I care I’m already dead…assuming. I didn’t want to stay like this forever and desperately tried with the last remnants of my energy to move.
“Move…please move.” Crying out to myself
I continued to fight and force my body to move I gained little results but it was good enough for me to form my resolve. I wasn’t dead I could still move, breath and think. Still having my hopes up I exerted all my energy trying to sit up, I wasn’t going to die that’s what I made sure about myself if I hadn’t died that fall then I still have a reason to live, I may not know what that reason may be but I had to live that was my resolve.
Looking at my watch which was still working it was 5:33pm probably four hours since the impact at Oaklogan City...guessing that is. During that time I realized that my forehead was bleeding and felt that inside my ribs I was internally bleeding a rock probably hit me when I plunged into the water. From where I could tell I wasn’t that far from the city I just drifted a couple miles near my house. I couldn’t go back home for sure because I left my keys in my wallet which were not with me, so I started walking up the hill to get myself unto the road because from there I knew where to go. While I walked down the road, I knew for sure I was going the right way because I always passed by here going back to my house from the city. At a distance I saw a van, not too far from me a good ten minute jog would get me there faster, but I could see three people still stuck inside while one had a basket and tried to open the side door to get them out. The van was tipped over I guess by the tremendous tremor from the impact of the meteor. I began thinking inside my own head that I should just run away with the basket, there could be food and utilities needed for me to survive I shook my head and looked at the ground. A wooden club laid there on the grass good enough to knock a man cold. I grabbed it and walked straight to the car. The sky slightly turned grey and the sun being covered by the clouds shun no more. Carrying the club on my right hand I shouted, “MOVE!” and struck the back window of the car with a forceful blow. The glass shattered and reached my hand to help those stuck inside helpless.
When everyone cleared away from the van, I handed my club and told them to head straight down till they saw a route facing their left side. It was my house and gave them permission to break the window to get inside so they can sleep there for the night till I could find help. I would have given them the key to the house if I had it but it was in my wallet and when I checked it wasn’t with me at the beach. I departed from the party heading straight to the city, I had regain my energy after I had helped the people at the van and were kind enough to give me a few snacks for my journey. It wasn’t long till I reached Oaklogan City; from a distance I could see dark clouds smothering the city in pitch black. As I walked under the sign “Welcome to Oaklogan City” all slanted and covered up in dust it felt as if my world just walked across my mind in a mere second, what I use to remember of this beautiful city is now a wasteland of clouds and dust.
As I continue to walk through the wired bridge I took quick glances from both my sides only to paint my eyes with red. I checked all the cars that I passed by to see if anyone were injured or stuck but all I got were just empty sits. Was I unconscious for more than four hours? Because for sure there was no way all the people could have evacuated within those four hours. Running from corner to corner all I could depict were just destroyed property everywhere. Desperately looking inside and out even checking a twenty-floor hotel not a single life rose from my sight. Did everyone die within the impact? I felt so alone in the world just wandering on a path leading nowhere. Has God abandoned me why didn’t he take me with them? Why was I the only one left behind? Was it because I was never a Christian like person? I felt so angered by the fact all these negative questions kept popping out in my mind. I entrusted God with my life since birth that he would save me, and therefore he did but not like this I might as well go jump off a building and go to where everyone else is it’s better than just staying here.
I walked into the nearest building high enough to kill myself with one leap. Each step I took walking straight to my end brought me farther and farther away from God. I blame everything on him for what he has done to me, was there even a reason for me to stay behind, I can’t even see it anymore. I’ve been blinded by my furious emotions that I can barely think of a single peaceful moment of anyone I’ve ever known or loved. When I reached the rooftop of the building, slowly walking towards the end of my own road I could see Jericho Beach from here. It was the first place where I met Selene; she was walking on the shores alone wearing a teal like bikini, covered by a light see through colored sheet around her waist. I tried and locked my eyes with hers but kept getting rejected. Turning my head slowly pouting at my failed connection volleyball knocks me out pushing me back with brute force to the face. By the time I woke up she was right there in front of my face asking me if I was ok. A glimpse at her golden brown skin, the silky wave sweeping across her angel like face it was so hard to look away.
I cried trying to look away at the past as I walked towards the ledge of the building, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see her again. For someone who I have hurt I felt like I shouldn’t be crying this was my punishment. As both my feet lie parallel across from each other I looked straight down from the building I was sure it was high enough to kill me without feeling any pain.
“So…I guess this is it for me.”
Feeling intensely petrified my legs began to shake it was my moment to die, I was so ready but I couldn’t help to feel that someone was clinging unto my life. Forcefully trying to raise my leg from its frozen state I tried to lose my balance so I could plunge to my death but whatever I tried it ended just staying still looking straight down at the bottom. Slowly lifting my head to the sky, yelling at nothing but to the dark clouds I screamed.
“I’m not afraid!”
“Let me go! Please.”
Tears began to run I felt so desperate to escape this horrid reality, being alone with no one by my side I felt that my sacred place of my joyful memories was just now an empty void. It was too much for me to bear I wanted to go back and fix everything I’ve ever done wrong. I wanted to see them again, my friends, my family everyone I ever knew even tell her how much I loved her. I just wanted to go back to that last moment before we broke up to tell her how much she meant to me. She was my turning point in life and without her I was nothing. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t be who I am now. Everything I’ve done till the moment it ended it was all real I may have done things she wouldn’t have expected me to do but I was just exploring what life had to offer. Every second she laid in my arms it brought me closer to loving her than any other woman in the world. I held her close as she did to me whenever we would depart from each other, I couldn’t resist her nor turn away. Whenever I gaze into her ravishing amber-like eyes I made her know she would be the only woman meant for me an that not even the hottest girl would stray my eyes away from hers. I missed everything I had ever experienced with her walking along the shores of Jericho, admiring the sunsets till the night gloomed right above us, even just spending no more than ten minutes together before she drove off to work. I didn’t care how much time was put into the relationship all I cared was that as long she was there by my side and I to hers not even God would tear us apart.
A breaking light pierced through the clouds shining over my head and that was when my knees gave up. As I slowly fall flashbacks began to rewind in my head looking back at the past at all my happiest moment even to the point of my birth I plunged into the ground.
“Hey are you okay?” was the first thing I heard.
“Someone call the ambulance he seems to be breathing but he isn’t moving.”
I could hear the sounds of people, but couldn’t tell if I was dreaming? I felt the pressure placed on my chest as they try and revive me back to reality. Feeling my eyes squinting as they try and open up a light shun through my visor. A woman lay beside me shouting for help while her child placed bandages over my shaded vision. I tried to move so they could cancel the call but stood still only to ponder with what I had experienced.
I stared at the clouds as they move slowly pass my view, and could hear ambulance come at a distance. I slightly tilted my shoulder to look back at the mother; I could see her mouth move but very slowly and her child opening a couple of bandages. Time was slow, but it was fine I’d rather enjoy life at the slowest rather than having it run pass me in a blink of an eye.
The next day I had a couple of visits from my friends bothering me with questions such as “Hey! What happen to you on the street yesterday? Heard you passed out you drunk or something?” I answered back yeah I was drunk in the morning cause I was really pissed off at someone. I didn’t want to tell them the truth because for sure they weren’t going to believe me and two you were drunk and you tend to hallucinate. So I kept it to myself and just had a normal conversation for the whole day. During the day when I was in the city after I collapsed I wasn’t able to buy any new clothes for Selene’s birthday party. I decided to wear what I wore at her dry after grad party because I had a lot of complements from her and her friends. I realized I didn’t have to buy new clothes every day since I had enough in my wardrobe
But I really can’t help filling it up with something new every day, but after that incident I decided to cut down on shopping and go out when I really need to which I really don’t know when. Still at home waiting till the surprise party started I called up Selene to ask her what she might be doing later after her party. I wanted to spend some good quality time with her just catching up and trying to imply how I’ve changed since the last time you saw me without saying it to her face.
I dialed the number and waited as the phone rang a couple of times.
“Hello?”
I felt happy deep inside that I was able to hear her voice again; it’s been quite awhile since I ever talked to her after that incident.
“Hello? Hello?”
“Hey” Responding back in a calm voice
“Hi…um do I know you?”
My eyes widen quickly as my ears heard “do I know you” I felt hurt that she didn’t remember my voice, but I guess it’s what I deserve this whole time. Haven’t called her back, haven’t said sorry, or gave her any make-up presents.
“Just kidding Ryan, thought I forgot about you?”
“Yeah.” Acting all surprised.
“Well I’d like to sometimes but I really can’t forget the guy…(dot dot dot) that would always make me cry.”
“Hah…well I’m sorry about all that.”
“It’s alright so what’s up?”
“I want to talk to you-
“Well you’re talking to me right now so-
“Not like this I mean in person, I want to see you again and I have something to say to
You.”
“Alright so where do you want to meet.”
“You free for tonight after your party.” Replying back.
“Yeah, don’t think anyone could stay here at my house for long but yea I’ll meet up with you.”
“Alright see tonight then.”
“Yeah you too, bye.”
“Bye.”
I hanged up the phone and was actually surprise how our conversation went well rather than ending up bitching at each other’s faces. I walked away from the phone and headed to my bedroom to take a quick nap so when I meet her tonight I wouldn’t be all exhausted or fatigue from the party.
As I walk down my wooden smooth floor I took quick glances in each of the rooms to see if any of the windows were broken. I was still paranoid about the moment when I gave the club to the family so they could break the window and get inside to rest up. After passing all five of my rooms not a single shard of the glass was sighted. It was actually all a dream, but all of it was too real for me to forget. As I reached my bed I threw myself into the mattress thinking about what I should say to her after the party, but the problem was how to begin. I turned my head right to look at the time it was 2:43pm I really didn’t want to spend four hours making a script for myself so all I did at that moment was slowly close my eyes and faded into the pitch black.
*Ring Ring Ring
Opening my eyes at the disturbing noise my eyelids forced them back down I wasn’t meant to wake up just yet, but soon realized that it was my alarm clock I had set to wake me up for Selene’s birthday. I rose from the darkness of my room and headed straight to the light where I left everything I needed so I could be ready. It didn’t take long for me to get showered and all dressed up so for the remainder of the time I had to spare I just blanked out gazing at a photo of Selene and I all formally dressed at her sisters wedding day.
As I constantly look at our photo together I can’t help to think that I was actually going to tell her how I feel, for all those month’s that we’ve been separated she’s always been an ass around me, like I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong but I think it was obvious that it was all me and that I was just to blind to realize it. I was so caught up in getting revenge that it just strayed me away from what I was really supposed to do which was this.
“You know I should tell her this too, why I’ve been such a dick to her.”
It’s great that I’m actually learning a lot about myself especially with my emotions all I hope now is that I’m able to express myself to her without stuttering or so.
I look back at the clock and knew it was time to go I walked slowly to the mirror and did some quick touch up’s I didn’t want to look kind of crummy for her party. I want her to know that I’ve changed and that goes for how I dress. Got to look decent for her.
As I reached the garage I realized that I brought my Aprilia keys, I thought about riding to her house because it really wasn’t that cold but it was best if took my car keys instead I might take her out somewhere where it could be just the two of us. I quickly changed keys and hurried back to get on the road. Driving on the empty road heading back to the city I would always look up just incase something came crashing down on me, but obviously I’m just paranoid as usual. When I reached Selene’s house I parked the car right away at the corner of her house and pulled out to rush to her door. Feeling indifferent as I step closer to her door and impatient, as I get closer to her I just wanted to get this all over with but before I could talk in my own little mind the door open. I looked up but was surprised to see that it was Ed, I barely see the guy even around parties but I guess he’s back to enjoy Selene’s party.
“Who are you? Get out of here we don’t allow strangers.” Ed, trying talk like Selene’s father.
“Oh that’s funny Ed, let me in.”
“Hold on gotta call someone to see if we know you.”
“You’re so gay honestly.” Saying it to his face as I start getting irritated.
“Haha just playing with you, just joke calm down.”
“I know it’s a joke, but dude haven’t see you like forever.”
“Yeah you too.”
“So how’s the Caribbean? Any beauties you exploit?”
“Mmm maybe.”
“I see, so you going to let me in already?”
“We’ll let her decide.”
Ed begins walking away from the door and I glance over his shoulder I could see her, walking down her white carpet stairs as her dress sways gracefully transitioning with her body as she moves side to side down the stairs. Every step she took towards me brought me closer to saying what I wanted to say to her this whole year.
“Ryan!” Smiling as she looks at me.
“Hey, umm”
“Why are you outside, you afraid to come in?”
“No, it’s just Eddie here doesn’t like me.”
“Yeah I don’t.” replying in a fast paced manner.
“Well come in already, dinner just started.”
“Alright, thanks for having me.”
“Aww, the Ex’s are having a moment I think I should stay here and watch.”
We both glared at each other’s eyes and turned our head towards Eddie.
“Bye Eddie.”
Ed starts to pout and walk away into the dining room as we wave him goodbye. I looked back at her and smiled like it’s been a really long time since I last saw her. I can’t help to let my emotions out and tell her how much I missed her. Selene looked at me and asked me a surprising question.
“What time do you want everyone to leave?”
Feeling astonished that she asked me what time I wanted to everyone to leave just blew me away, does she really want to hear what I want to say to her that badly even if it meant kicking out everyone here at the house. But I didn’t want to take this advantage where it was just going to be the two of us.
“Um you don’t have too; I just need you to spare a couple of hours that’s all, no need to go that far.”
“Alright.”
We stood there at the entrance just staring at each and smiling out of blue I felt a warm breeze pass by the two of us, for a second there I was actually relieved because most of the time when we would see each other I would be prepared to say something a jerk would say, but now it’s just different theirs a side of me that I haven’t let her embraced
And I wish that this side of me could win her back closer to mine rather than pushing further away from me.
“Want to grab something eat?” asking her politely
“Yea sure.”
As we walked through the hallway, bunch of people surrounded the island but I guess dinner was about to begin and they were about to bless the food.
“Look who it is.”
Hearing the voice at a distance I knew it was meant for me, telling from his voice I had feeling it was someone who’ve I’ve pissed off in the past. As I looked cautiously tilting my head left and right trying to look where the voice had come from I smiled in between to those who greeted me. Right after I shook Manny’s hands, a fist through the crowd came soaring right at me. I tried to stray away but was to late enduring almost 100% of the blow straight to my left cheek.
I fell back, almost hitting the corner of the island but before I knew it Selene grabbed hold of me. I could hear shouting and an argument going around my tension was building, fist locking tightly preparing to give the next set of blows, but couldn’t help to carry on because she was holding unto me at first I thought she was just kind of bullshitting this whole time making it look like she was ok having me around her but I guess I was wrong. I got right back up and received another blow to the stomach, a weak shot even though he was right in front of me but I pretended to act like he had really gotten me good. When he turned around ignoring everyone around I looked for the nearest exit which was the balcony right in front of me I lunged forward carrying him away from the crowd and threw him outside as I close the door right behind me. I quickly made signals that I wanted this to be between the two of us and looked back where Jeff’s body was still lying. I asked him if he wanted to talk but all I got was another failed assault to my groin. I spun around grabbing his shoulder with my left and his striking arm with my right. I tripped him as he tried to lunge forward at me and made him kneel as I twisted his right arm behind him. Placing him in a submission state.
“You got a lot of balls showing your face here Ryan.” Jeff all angered.
“Why, am I not allowed to see Selene or even attend her party even though she in person asked me to come?”
“Yea, you don’t have the right to be here.”
“And are you the judge of that Jeff?”
“You little faggot, when I use to date her you made her your girlfriend just like that in a week right after we recently broke up and then after you guys break up you start creating shit against her, you’re a freaking asshole.”
I didn’t expect him to start talking about this whole thing, but had no choice but to try and talk myself out of it.
“Weren’t you?”
“What?” Jeff responding back in astonishment
“I know what you’ve done so don’t be blaming all this shit on me when you in fact have done the same thing.”
“Used her sex, took her away from the important stuff from her life-
“You did the same thing you little douche! Don’t be lying to me cause
“Cause what? How did I do the same thing to her?”
“Sex.”
Quite surprised at his answer I felt close to bursting.
“Is that it? Cause you know if that’s all the proof you have against me I’m just this much closer to breaking your arm.”
“Well how about when you humiliated her or talked and spread shit against her explain that you little-
“Ok you know what, you got to stop cussing it makes you look like a immature brat trying to desperately win this argument against me can that tiny brain of yours say anything else other than sex and more swear words because that pretty much tells me what’s in your mind all this time.”
“Let’s talk like real men Jeff.”
“Ok fine, then explain yourself.”
“To be honest I did it out of revenge, cheating on me like seriously I know you would of done the same thing.”
“No.”
“Ok than.”
“It’s stupid how she can’t see the problems she’s creating, it’s like she just wants everyone to have their eye’s on her.”
“So you saying she wants all the attention.”
“Yes.”
“Well that’s her, what do you expect she has no control flirts with guys, wants her voice to be heard, wants to join in conversation, wants to have this image like she’s all that when really she’s not, what else is there to say about her.”
“I don’t know Jeff.”
“But tell me Ryan, this conversation isn’t about bashing on Selene it about you and her.”
“You act all negative and aggressive against her and then the next you’re all like “Hey I’m a good person now come back to my house I have to show you something.”
“It’s true that I was angry with her but to tell you the truth I am a good person.”
“Yeah well so am I, we’re all good people what makes you think she deserves to go back with you rather than me?”
“I didn’t say anything about her coming back to me, look I know we both like her and want her to ourselves but that’s not the reason why I want her back.”
“Than what’s your reason, because I’ll decide whether its shitty or your just full of shit yourself.”
I looked at the sky and took a deep breath.
“Jeff in life we go through many things in our lives and for you it’s all about sex.”
“Jerk.”
“For me, I’ve gone through many phases in my life and come to understand everything about myself.
“That you have small tete?”
“Ok you know what, its cause of her I have something to look forward too I dream of her whenever she’s away.”
“Wet dreams right? O wow is that what you just figured out all this time.”
Angry as I was I slammed Jeff’s face to the ground and turned him around I grabbed his collar and tugged it forward towards mine.
“Listen here you fag piece of shit!” Grabbing his attention.
“Everyday I’d always hear something about her, something I dislike and yet I join and trash talk behind her back. It’s cause of her that I remember so many of those bad memories that it makes me want to beat the crap out of her, but there’s a part of me so faint and weak that brings me back. There’s a part of me that is looking for something within her. I search desperately trying to find a way for that person to come out. We may know her as that type of person or whatever we may call her but I’m looking deep down inside within her soul and not her body. She’s there and I want her to be free, I don’t want to hear all this nonsense and crap about her I want to hear the nice and positive things we can come to acknowledge her not as a terrible person but as a friend. We say and act that she’s our friend but I act as though she play’s an important role in our everyday lives. You don’t know what she has to put up with but I do I’m not saying we all should just be nice because we’d be just feeding her ego that I’m the best person, but really she is the person we can all come to love. It’s just she’s not showing it. This is the only thing that keeps me going, why I keep continuing on to find the answer she’s in there Jeff and you know it. Stop thinking about sex and all your stupid needs if you want her back make her feel that she could enjoy life at it’s fullest. Enjoy what life has to offer but use your head and not your dick. I love her for what she’s done for me but now I don’t believe I’m looking for another relationship with her but a relationship as tight friend. Were both fighting to win her back but that shouldn’t be the action or the reason this is just showing how desperate we are to have her back in our lives, but yet we fail to see that she’s already in it just as our friend. We may not experience all we’ve had before with her but we can still relive some of those moments. I-
“You can stop.”
I let go of Jeff’s collar and found a spot to sit down.
“Jeff can you see now what I’m trying to do?”
Still waiting for a response I felt that I was able to get inside him I just hope that he doesn’t think that this whole thing is just complete bullshit.
“I’ve always thought of you as a bad person Ryan, but seeing from your emotions and determination your intentions are true, I never thought that’s how you would see Selene as I’ve always thought of her as just that person you know.”
“Well I can’t blame you?”
“I’m going to head back inside I’ll go call her to get you some bandages and stuff.”
“Thanks Jeff.”
“I should really thank you, I can finally see and accept who you really are but uh if you pull something stupid again I’m going to beat you up.”
“Alright.”
As Jeff slowly walks away from my sight, I fell back lying on the hard wooden floor. I didn’t care whether it was dirty because it was worth it I pulled it off and was able to let out how I really felt about Selene. I smiled and stared at her as she stared back at me sitting at her window ledge looking down at me. Tears ran down her face but kept smiling to show the strong side of her.
I remembered back at the church the priest homily, how the fishes of the sea are similar to that of the people of the Earth. A net is placed into the water catching all the fishes of the sea, but are distributed from one another taking the good ones and leaving the bad.
I thought long and hard as I waited for the answer but all I could sum up was this “The hardest part of the journey is when to begin.” It’s true that it’s the hardest part in our lives but I don’t need to worry about that anymore for the hardest part is over and now easiest part was just beginning.
